Susan Walton, Lobley Hill Road, Gateshead, writes:

I note that Aveton Gifford has recently been visited by a swarm of lesser brained petrolheads, or ‘tidal road chancers’ as they are sometimes known. 

It is worth noting that this species is not confined to the south eest, indeed, several broods are often spotted here in the north rast. 

Their habitat is similar to those seen in the Avon valley, ie salt water, but the north eastern variety prefer the dual tide race of the Lindisfarne causeway, with its handy refuge from where they can watch as their vehicle is submerged beneath the cold, grey waters. 

While tide poles may be effective in your case, which I assume are similar to those used across open moorland where they are known as snow poles, Lindisfarne has used tide tables, notices and even electronic signs, but as this particular breed of petrolhead is cocky, illiterate and, ultimately, wet, they continue to be stranded. 

On the plus side, it does one’s heart good to see an expensive car being submerged in salty or muddy water by the owners idiocy!